London Has Fallen – Nonsense

Olympus Has Fallen had a certain charm. You know…when the likeable protagonist dispatches multiple bad guys by stabbing them in the cranium…that kind of charm. London Has Fallen doesn’t have any of that. What it does have though is a nonsensical premise underpinned by superfluous on-screen graphics informing the audience who’s who on the “we don’t care” list. All this plus questions, oh so many questions. I’ll start with:

Why would the German Chancellor want to watch the changing of the guard before a funeral?

Does the French President need to be sitting on a boat on the Thames just to be fashionably late?

If you were the Japanese Prime Minister would you really want to take Hammersmith Bridge to get to St. Pauls?

Are we to assume every Italian Prime Minister needs to be with his mistress on top of Westminster Abbey?

Don’t worry, I’m not spoiling the plot, just demonstrating Hollywood’s need for shonkey geography to fit a purpose. Then, of course, we have the depiction of our own simpering Premier cowering in St. Pauls leaving the dear old Pres – “leader of the free world” – to go all gung-ho-Smokin’-Joe on the terrorist’s asses. Ably supported by Gerard Butler of course. And let’s not even get started on Morgan Freeman dialling in a performance.

Still, on the upside…it’s no Blackhat.

Thank you for reading ๐Ÿ™‚


Gerard Butler will save us all!

I don’t know about you, but I really enjoyed Olympus Has Fallen. Gerard Butler brutally dispatching terrorists, usually with a short-bladed knife to the cranium – an original way to “end” someone – while saving the “leader of the free world”. It came out around the same time as White House Down (which was equally as enjoyable) and faired quite well at the box office, taking $161m worldwide while having an estimated production budget of $70m (numbers courtesy of BoxOfficeMojo).

So now we brace ourselves for the inevitable follow-up – London Has Fallen. Here’s the trailer.

Yep, pretty much more of the same, but with knobs on, laying waste to an entire city, blowing up every iconic landmark they can think of. All that history dispatched to the ether. It’ll cost a bloody fortune to rebuild! Anyway, I’m not really complaining. It looks like a blast (pardon the pun). I like Mr Butler. I also like Aaron Eckhart. And who doesn’t like Morgan Freeman?!? If that’s you, then you need to give yourself a stern talking-to!

So bring it on, I say. Here’s some suitably patriotic posters to round out the marketing campaign.

London Has Fallen drops on March 3rd here in the UK and March 4th Stateside.

Thank you for reading ๐Ÿ™‚

Jason Statham – he does exactly what it says on the tin!

Statham banner

Currently sitting at no. 173 in IMDb’s STARmeter chart, the legend that is Jason Statham usurps the likes of Arnie (he’s so big we don’t even need to say his surname), Gerard Butler, Liam Neeson and Tom Hanks! I mention these first 3 as a deliberate comparison – Arnie in his heyday was the go-to action star and in their current guises Messrs. Butler and Neeson have a penchant for the Action genre. As for Mr. Hanks, well, he’s a two-time Oscar winner, but while sitting at no. 199, still can’t get a look in on the popularity stakes compared to The Stath! I know these kinds of charts mean next to nothing in the real world, but it is a good indiction of where these actors sit in the “where have I seen him/ her before?/ what else have they been in?” >clicks IMDb< area of our lives. What’s more, you’ve only got to type in the first 3 letters of his first name for the Mighty One to appear at the top of the aforementioned site’s list of suggestions!


To give his output of films some kind of comparison, I would look no further than the output of the one and only Chuck Norris, albeit with (perhaps) slighty higher production values. If you haven’t seen the Chuck Norris Facts website, with classic statements like “Chuck Norris doesn’t obey laws…the laws obey him“, then check it out – it’s a whole other world of funny. But substitute Norris for Statham and you too can be wearing a shirt that says “Jason Statham doesn’t flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it“. Not wanting to besmirch the great Mr. Norris, I think it’s fair to suggest that The Stath is just as much an action hero now as Mr. Norris was back in his hey day.

Wild Card v2

Why, you may ask, am I giving a Post over to The Stath? Well, there’s two answers to that query. One, the powers-that-be have recently released a trailer for his latest opus. And here it is:

And two, having watched the trailer a couple of times – yes, I am a Jason Statham fan – it got me to thinking. If you’re familiar with The Stath’s canon, you’ll likely agree that the above 100 seconds of trailery goodness ticks all the right boxes when consideration is given to a film starring said action star. Or, it does if you’ve only seen a few of the more well-know ones and while I would call myself a fan, I haven’t seen nearly enough. So, over the coming months I will attempt to view all the films The Stath has starred or co-starred in and proffer my views. Hopefully, it will give me – and by association you, dear reader – a better understanding of where Jason Statham sits in the pantheon of “action movie” actors. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it. Oh, by the way, I do realise that he starred in an Uwe Boll film too. That’s the one I’m least looking forward to viewing.

Thank you for reading ๐Ÿ™‚

“We’re back, we’re bad…” blah, blah, blah


Apathy is a dirty word, but one that I’m familiar with. You just have to look at the time it’s taken me to update this Blog to understand my ongoing battle with the “A”-word! So, firstly an apology to my hardened followers for this inexcusable lack of cinematic updates… I’m sorry. Looking back at what I’ve missed in the intervening months I have to be honest and say “not too much”! Although the obvious omission would be Gravity. It’s not that I haven’t seen anything though. Let’s start with…

SEPT. 2013

After Elysium I went to see Riddick and perhaps that’s where it all started. Don’t get me wrong, it’s far better than the second installment of the current trilogy, but quite frankly is a retread of the original. Worth a watch but nothing more. Didn’t get round to seeing Rush and I blame Riddick for that – the rot had started to set in! Nor did I catch White House Down and I did want to see that one. I do enjoy a bit of Roland Emmerich carnage. I did however see the other one on Sky TV. Now for all the cack most people think Gerard Butler has been in, Olympus Has Fallen isn’t one of them. A highly entertaining and hugely violent piece of nonsense; pretty much what I was/ am expecting from White House Down. We’ll have to wait and see. Wild horses couldn’t drag me to see Diana, so you can thank your lucky stars you weren’t subjected to any kind of diatribe regarding that release! R.I.P.D. looked interesting but seemed to be a bit of a misstep for Mssrs. Bridges and Reynolds, so once again I won’t lose much sleep about not seeing that one. Huge Action in Prisoners and the Affleck/ Timberlake two-hander Runner Runner didn’t float my boat either and so on we go to…

OCT. 2013

We have to get to 18th October before there’s a decent film to see this month! Prior to that, Filth, Machete Kills, The Fifth Estate or V/H/S/2 weren’t really floating my boat. It was worth waiting for though. Captain Phillips was a triumph and I’d be very surprised if Mr. Hanks doesn’t receive another Oscar nom for his troubles. The Stallone/ Schwazenegger vehicle Escape Plan escaped my attentions as did Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 and Ender’s Game. We’ve got to wait until the end of the month to get our latest fix of the Marvel Universe in the form of Thor: The Dark World and we’re clearly doing away with those stupid number things and being all colonated with our future releases…so there!! That being said, Thor 2 (see what I did there?) was very good and yes Chris Hemsworth is still total eye-candy! That leaves us with…

NOV. 2013

Missed Philomena, and out of all the films I haven’t seen between the end of August and now, that’s the one I’m sorry I didn’t catch. Having not seen it, I’ll still stick my neck out and say that Judi Dench should get a nod from Oscar for her role; as too should Sandra Bullock for Gravity. There’s one film I am glad I saw at the flix and is without doubt one of the best films I’ve seen this or any other year! And while we’re mentioning Oscar, I’d like to put it out there that Emma Thompson‘s portrayal of P.L. Travers is definitely worthy of a nomination. Saving Mr. Banks is a delightful film and a welcome treat for us Tom Hanks fans. I have also seen Hunger Games: Catching Fire and thought it was a worthy sequel. It’s about time Hollywood got a best-selling novel adaptation right and they have so far with the first two films of this trilogy. Here’s hoping they don’t drop the ball with the third installment! Of those I hadn’t seen during November, Carrie is a notable mention, but once again, one that I’m not too fussed about viewing. Honourable mentions should be made to Don Jon – I do like Joseph Gordon-Levitt – and The Butler, but I’m sure I’ll catch them on Sky in the New Year.

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

So there we have it – a 600-ish word prattle regarding the whys & wherefores of the last three months in cinema that have passed this blog by. Oh, before I forget, I also saw The Secret Life of Walter Mitty at a screening for Cineworld Unlimited cardholders a couple of weeks ago, but that can’t be watched by mere mortals until Boxing Day. Suffice to say it’s a triumph – Ben Stiller captures the narrative with aplomb through his stellar performance and wonderful direction. Justice would also be served if Mr. Stiller were nominated for an Oscar in either a Director or Actor role or even both if they were feeling generous. We’ll have to wait and see!

I’ll try not to keep you waiting three months for the next update! Thank you for reading ๐Ÿ™‚

A Comic-Con Poster A Day Bonus Features

Now the dust has settled and fansboys/ girls across the globe are catching their respective breathes, we can attempt to wade through the myriad of announcements that were made in San Diego and subsequently covered by our favourite movie-centric websites. Here’s hoping that at some point during the next couple of weeks we will treated to the teasers, sizzle reels, mood pieces and other such packages that were screened for the lucky few who were actually there!

Firstly we have another couple of Comic-Con posters for the newly monikered Edge of Tomorrow. While the first gave us a full-frontal assault of a faceless future-soldier, we are now treated to the two principles in similar garb. First thing that comes to mind is “Oooo…moody!” Quickly followed by “Oooo…Emily Blunt!”. Any-who, here they are and I hope you like them as much as I do.

Now I have to admit, I’m not sure whether this next poster was actually released during Comic-Con or that it’s just a happy coincidence. Either way, I’m really quite excited by the prospect of dipping another toe into the entertaining waters of Hiccup and Toothless in How To Train Your Dragon 2. The only downside is that we’re going to have to wait until July 2014 before (hopefully) our eyes are caressed by its stunning visuals – created by Dreamworks Animation – and we are (hopefully) entertained by its immersive narrative. I’ll also throw in the teaser trailer that was released about a week ago…’cos I’m nice like that!

How can you not enjoy that? And a great reveal at the end! And here’s the poster.

How Train Your Dragon 2 poster